Neglect

I know I know I know…I’ve been neglecting my writing duties. I haven’t posted in a while and a few of my friends, I won’t call any names, *cough* Anderson *cough*, remind me daily that I have yet to update my blog. Sorry! I’ll make some more posts soon. Now that the dance season has started back, I’ve been extremely busy; not to mention graduate school applications. AHHHHHHH please pray for me. My goal this year is to stop procrastinating and to start making my dreams reality. I realized that I was the only one holding myself back, so this year I’m removing the bubble I call my comfort zone! Look out for a BIG announcement soon!

 

XOXOXOXOX

Rachelle Danielle

I Won’t Complain

Trying my hardest not to complain. But this place is driving me past insane. Every single day it’s the same. Same doctors, same lawyers, same claimants adding to my pain and deepening my shame. The shame I have in my need to complain. When there are so many people that wish for a job,  just so they can maintain. Maintain a roof over their head and food on their plates, clothes on their back, my job they would happily take. Happily would I give it, freely would I leave. This place can’t be my only option, I have a college degree. But degrees don’t mean a thing, with the economy in shambles.  So do I stay stuck here, or with my finances should I gamble? Gamble with the chance of being like so many jobless US residents. Residents that are beyond frustrated, so they blame the President. A President that is far from perfect but seems to be doing his best. Ahhhh never mind, I digress… I can’t take this anymore, just the thought of having to come in tomorrow is a hard pill to digest. I’m trying to remain patient and view this as a test. A Test I must pass; a speed bump in my road to success. 4years is long enough, there’s so much more I have to achieve. God knows I’m trying to keep the faith, I’m trying to just believe. Believe that I’ve been blessed with this job for a reason. Every morning I tell myself “This is not a permanent situation, you’ll only be stuck here for a season.” As the saying goes, Seasons come, and season’s go. I get all that, I understand we need both sunny seasons and rainy ones to grow. But the rain at this place seems to be all year long. I don’t know how many more times I can hear “I know that’s what we said but… Rachelle you’re wrong”. So, I’m trying my hardest not to complain, even though this place is driving me insane. Every single day it’s the same. However, for now, here is where I must remain, even though it’s hard not to complain.

Food For Thought

My Twitter timeline has been flooded with people who all of sudden care about Mr. Troy Davis. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m happy people are speaking up for a man that could very well be innocent. However, people, especially our people, tend to wait until it’s too late to open their mouths. This man has been in jail for years, and now all of a sudden, because it’s the day of his scheduled execution, everyone wants to become pro Troy Davis. Where was this support when he was convicted? Or when he was appealing his case, time after time again. Yes, I understand the outrage; especially after reading all the available facts of the case. However, we can’t expect mainstream to take us seriously if we only come together one day to show our support, then the next day we’re back to being ignorant. What happens tomorrow? Better yet, what happens at 7:01pm tonight if Mr. Davis is indeed executed? We can’t only show that we care for one day, one week, or even one month. This has to be a continuous movement, if we expect anyone to take us as a race seriously.

Where was this mass out pouring when it was time to cast your ballots? In many cases, we voted these people into office. Maybe I should say our absence at the polls voted these people into office. We as African Americans have to stop being so quick to cry foul, when we are the ones that allow this nonsense to take place. We are the ones voting for and supporting people merely because they are black; and expecting them to have our best interest at heart simply because we have the same skin tone. Or calling them a sell out the moment they don’t drop everything they’re doing to come save a “brotha” or “sistuh”. We can’t continue to vote straight Democrat or Republican tickets without knowing all the facts. Voting for someone simply because they have a “D” in front of their name is like buying a house without knowing what kind of foundation it’s on. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’ve voted Republican just as many times as I’ve voted Democrat. However, I digress.

Let me just say this…It’s great that people are backing Mr. Davis. I’m sure he as well as his family appreciate the support. Nevertheless, in my opinion, it shouldn’t have had to come to this. If the outpour then was as it is now…I can almost assure you, this case would have had a completely different outcome. The parole boards, DA, investigators and prosecution would have taken a much closer look at this case. Think about it…Mr. Davis has won 3 previous delays, which shows me that they know there’s something entirely wrong about the verdict. Can you imagine how differently this case could have been if we did then what we’re attempting to do now?!?! What are we doing to make sure that there aren’t any more Troy Davis’? If this man is murdered tonight, will we even remember his name next month? Will we hold anyone accountable? Or will we simply make Mr. Davis a trending topic on Twitter for a few days, moan and complain amongst ourselves, post a couple Facebook statuses then go back to our lives as if nothing happened? Think about it!

~RachelleDanielle

30 Before 30

Good Bye 25, hello 26!!!! As of a little after 12am today, I’m officially 26 years old. *does happy dance* I’m truly thankful to see yet another year. Year 25 didn’t play fair, but I’m happy to say I beat her and I’ve advanced to the next level. I always get super emotional before my birthday and this year was no different. During one of my emotional moments I decided to write down 30 things I want to accomplish before I reach age 30. My 30 before 30 list (in no particular order) don’t laugh or judge me LOL

 Here Goes:

1.Write a Book

2.Read the Bible from Cover to Cover

3.Go to New York Fashion Week

4. Visit Italy

5. Sky Dive

6. Swim with Dolphins

7.Buy a House

8. Get Married

9. Obtain a Masters Degree

10. Visit the Vatican

11.Visit Niagara Falls

12. Overcome my Fear of Birds

13. Go Skinny Dipping in the Ocean

14.  Attend a Dallas Cowboys Football Game

15. Attend a Philadelphia Eagles Football Game

16. Jump off a Cliff into water

17. Go Horseback Riding

18. Fall in Love

19. Meet President Barack Obama

20. Meet Janet Jackson

21. Meet Oprah Winfrey

22. Attend a Janet Jackson Concert

23. Dance in Front of Thousands

24. Go Skiing

25. See a Play on Broadway

26. Do a Photo Shoot with an Exotic Animal

27. Give Someone a Large Sum of Money and not tell them who it is

28.  Go snorkeling

29. Cook an Entire Thanksgiving Dinner

30.  Take a Flying Traapeze Class

Guess I better get to work, don’t be surprised if I force some of you to come along for the ride…I know some are a bit ambitious, but where there’s a will, there’s a way. And I’m off!!

I Remember

Ten years ago today, I was an 11th grader at Southeast Raleigh High School, sitting in Algebra 3 Trigonometry making last minutes plans for my sweet 16th birthday and birthday party that were only days away. The bell rang to signal the change of classes, I packed up my things and proceeded to my next class. As I was leaving class I ran into one of the class clowns in the hall way and he was going on and on about the USA being under attack and a plane flying into a building. I laughed at him thinking this was yet another one of his practical jokes and went ahead to class. As soon as I walked into the room the look on my teachers face said it all. She was standing in the door, shaking her head with her face glued to the class television. I looked up at the screen and realized that for once, the practical joker was unfortunately not joking at all. We sat there watching the TV as the second plane hit, trying to wrap our teenage brains around what was going on. Then they announced that a plane had crashed into the Pentagon, I went from trying to comprehend what was happening and why it was happening, to sheer panic. My dad was on active duty at the time and I knew he was in the DC area so I remember fighting back tears as I waited for what seemed like forever for him to reply to my text. The rest of that school day was pretty much pointless. We did absolutely nothing. They even cancelled all after school activities for the day.

Its amazing how quickly lives can change. I often think about the innocent men and women that kissed their kids and spouses as they left for what they thought was a typical workday. I often think about how many of them suffered before their lives were snatched from them. I often think about how many girls and boys had to learn how to drive, tie a tie, get ready for their first dance without one of their parents. I replay the phone call of the flight attendant to her husband telling him she loved him and their children. I know there’s nothing we can do to bring back the innocent lives lost. I understand that time may heal visible wounds, but the emotional ones can last a life time. So on this September 11th, I would like to say Thank You to men and women of the armed forces that continue to put their lives on the line in an effort to protect America. Thank you for willingly missing birthdays, holidays and other special occasions so that I can live a in a free America. Thank you for answering the call to protect and serve, knowing that the outcome could be death. Thank you for your selfless acts of kindness. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

RachelleDanielle

Breaking Point

In exactly 2 weeks, I’ll be 26 years old and if year 25 has taught me anything, it’s taught me that everyone, Christian or not, has a breaking point. EVERYONE! There’s only so much anyone can take. You may let someone take advantage of you once, you may even let it happen three or four times, but I guarantee you, there’s going to come a time when you say “enough is enough”. This year I’ve reached that “enough is enough” point several times. Unfortunately, I’ve found that no matter how many chances you give someone, no matter how much you do for them, no matter how many sacrifices you make, the first time you say “no” and put your foot down, all the times in the past that you said “yes” are immediately forgotten about. You instantaneously go from Hero to Villain. From Christian to “I thought you were saved”. From “thank you so much” to “who do you think you are”. It’s amazing how people feel like you owe them something. Like you’re obligated to do for them just because you have it, or so they think.

My parents are the absolute best. 90% of the time when I ask them for something, I get it. How would I look talking about them, or blasting them for the 10% of the times they don’t get me what I asked for? How silly would I look if dogged them out for not doing something for me, when A- I’m fully grown and B- they don’t owe me ANYTHING? They do for me now because they choose to, not because they’re required. I have friends whose parents cut them off as soon as they turned 18, when my parents were still paying my bills in college. How would I look calling them deadbeats now that I’m out of college, working a full time job, and they say no, they’re not paying a bill?!?! If they cut me off right now today (which I pray they don’t LOL), I can’t, won’t, dare not, part my lips to say anything but THANK YOU! They did what they were supposed to, and then some.

I said all that to say, be careful how you treat people that did for you when they didn’t have to. Be mindful of what you say about them to your “friends”, when the “friends” you’re talking about them to, wouldn’t have done for you what they did. Please don’t get me wrong, I love being able to help the people I love. I love the look on a persons face when God uses me to be a blessing. I count it an honor that I’m in a position to be able to take care of myself and still do for my friends and family. However, I don’t owe anyone ANYTHING! I do what I do because I WANT to…not because I HAVE too.

Priceless

This has been a CRAZY and I do mean CRAZY 7 months. I honestly don’t understand how I allowed myself to be put into this crazy situation. I’m slowly realizing that not everyone that says they’re your friend has your best interest at heart. Sometimes they are really only in it for them. Who would have known that a simple BBM asking what someone was doing for their birthday would lead to this much drama. I know now is not the time for the “shoulda, woulda, coulda’s” but I’m really beating myself up right now. I should have just said NO. Some doors are better left unopened.

I hadn’t seen this individual in YEARS, but thanks to a little social networking site called Twitter, our paths crossed again. Which ultimately lead to me allowing this individual to stay in my home. I didn’t see the harm in it, their sub lease was up, I had a spare bedroom, no harm no foul. Boy was I wrong. That seemingly harmless decision has brought headache, after headache after headache. I mean really, I’ve experience more drama these past 7 plus months, than I have the first 25 years of my life. And believe me, I dealt with some crap growing up. What bothers me the most about the situation is they are so busy saying its not them or their significant other that they have yet to say “sorry for bringing this drama to you” or “thank you for all you’ve done”. Instead I’m hearing crap like “its no one from my camp” “that person knows nothing about me” “that person doesn’t exist in my world”. Yada yada yada, blah, blah blah!

I’m not one for revenge, I’m a firm believer of what goes around comes around. But Lord knows, I hope I get a front row seat when they get theirs. I refuse to believe that someone could use someone they call a friend, bring drama to their home and not care enough to apologize. Even if they didn’t know exactly who it was. But hey I’ve been told I have unrealistic expectations, maybe this is just another one of them.

1/2 Water Bill for 7 months: $56
1/2 Electricity Bill for 7 months: $280
1/2 Rent for 7 months: $2450
Moving out without so much as a thank you after causing drama and not paying a dime: PRICELESS

Highway of Love

Recently I was asked if I would ever relocate for a man if money, job, housing etc were not factors. After an extremely long pause, my answer was “yes”. I knew what I was saying and I heard the words coming out of my mouth but I couldn’t believe I would be willing to do that. I’m usually the one saying “Girl bye, let that man come to you.” “Don’t chase behind a man ” “Why give up your life and friends, he should give up his.” “How much does he make” Yada Yada Yada, Blah, Blah, Blah. I don’t know if you want to call it maturity or simply a change of heart, but either way, I’m slowly realizing it’s okay to follow your heart sometimes, especially if you’re in a committed relationship with a common goal (marriage).

I know this sounds so out of character for me. I’ve been known to have some feministic characteristics but I’m learning you can be submissive and supportive to your man while still being an independent, strong woman. Relocating for the one you love shouldn’t be looked at as a sign of weakness but rather a sign of strength. Think about it…it takes a strong woman to leave her comfort zone, her environment, the place she calls home, to embark on a new life; especially when the relationship could go either way.

I asked a few guy friends, and I was shocked that with the exception of 2, all said they would be willing to relocate for a woman, if she was the more successful of the two. Take success out of the equation and most of those that said yes they would move said that they would expect her to move. Believe it or not, I honestly would have to say that I share those same sentiments.

PS: No, I’m not in love, nor do I plan on moving anywhere anytime soon. This topic just came up during a conversation.

Cuddle With Your Checklist

Far too often I hear ladies talking about this magical man that they’re looking for. I hear them going on and on about how he has to have this or look this way before he even has a shot at having a chance. I have friends that have checklists as long as my arms stating what they want in and from a man. I’m all for having standards and knowing what you want; but at the same time some of the “lists” I’ve seen have been a bit ridiculous. My friend and I had an almost hour-long debate about why she thinks checklists are “necessities”. She feels as though you make grocery lists all the time. You take time writing out your list at home so that you won’t forget anything and so that you can save time and money in the store. There’s no deviating from the list; if it’s not up there, you don’t buy it. Plain and simple. Granted; I understand the concept of having a list but I feel like this…new stuff comes out all the time. If you stick to this etched in stone list that you have you’ll never get to experience anything new. Sure, you may blow a couple of dollars if you don’t like it, but what if you do? I have jotted down a few things before I went grocery shopping just to be sure I didn’t forget, but I’ve never gone so far as to say this is the list and I’m sticking to it. I might be feeling spontaneous that day and feel like I want to try a new dish and because it is not written on my “list” I can’t. That’s a bit extreme…

I think women spend far too much time talking about how we want his eyes to be and how we want him to have a six-pack. We talk about how we want him to walk and what kind of car we want him to drive. How he has to have “swagga” and be able to buy you any and everything you could ever want. We talk about how tall we want him to be and how he has to have big hands and feet. And if for some reason he doesn’t live up to one thing on your checklist he’s automatically scratched off. I remember watching an episode of VH1s “What Chilli Wants”, she was reading off this long list of things he couldn’t do, and things he must have. She went so far as to say that the man could not eat pork. Initially I laughed but then it dawned on me why so many beautiful women are single. They spend too much time focusing on petty things and not enough time on what really matters. I’m not saying that you should settle, because the moment you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than what you settled for. I’m simply saying be open. Try new things. The instant Chilli allowed herself to put aside her checklist we began to see her start to open up and enjoy the men for who they were.

Ladies please don’t get me wrong, having standards is a MUST. But keep in mind, there’s a big difference between having a long checklist of trivial things you what you want and having standards. As a woman there should be some things that you refuse to settle for. My father is the best and he taught my sister and me how a man should treat us. So I’m all for having standards and not settling. I also know that you have to at least be attracted to each other. But please don’t get caught up in the hype of having a set list, and the moment he falls short in one area you automatically dismiss him. I have learned that a person may not have everything you want them to have, but what they do have is better than anything you could have ever imagined. When people ask me what I look for in a man, the answer is easy …he has to be able to at least bring or have the potential to bring what I bring to the table, spiritually, mentally, and physically. It’s that simple

 

*Note: I wrote this a while ago for a classmates online magazine, I was asked to repost to my blog, so I did*

Spring Cleaning

As a child, my mother would always go on this cleaning rampage the first weekend of spring. We would clean EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING. If it was in the house, we had to clean it. She would always say that she wanted the sun to be able to shine through the clean windows. *blank stare followed by a serious side eye* I remember one year I hid everything under my bed so I could go outside to play. When I came back in, the mattress and box spring were up against my wall, revealing all the toys, books, papers…basically all the junk, I thought I had gotten away with concealing. I thought she was doing it just to torture me. I mean who, but Cinderella, scrubs walls?!?! But as I got older I began to realize the importance of spring cleaning. Not just in my home, but also my life in general. So as the first weekend of spring approaches I’ve decided to rid my life of the clutter. I’m letting go of the frustration I’ve allowed myself to carry due to not being able to live up to some unrealistic expectations I’d set for myself. I’m turning in my two weeks notice to the people that shouldn’t have been in my life anyway. I’m relinquishing the guilt that I sometimes carry based on poor choices I’ve made. I’m freeing myself of the anger I have towards people that have hurt me and didn’t bother to pretend to care. I’m leaving behind the hurt from people I thought were friends doing the unimaginable. I’m moving beyond past failures that I allow to replay incessantly in my mind. I’m releasing myself from the shoulda, woulda, and couldas. I’m simply letting go of the disappointment. I’m washing my hands from anything and anyone that doesn’t ad to my life, in hopes of making space for things and people that really matter.

*wipes forehead*

I’m feeling lighter already!

Rachelle Danielle